Sorry to leave you hanging like that… the beta results are good and so much has happened in the past few days. Here’s the story. It’s gonna be a long post.
Thursday was an amazing morning. It was one of those mornings where everything goes your way, like when you’re driving and catch every green light. I couldn’t have asked for a better day. I got a cab without difficulty that morning. Traffic wasn’t bad and I made it to the clinic on time. While in the waiting room I saw my favorite tech. I hadn’t seen her at all during my cycle and was worried that she no longer worked there. But then I did see her on Tuesday when I went in for that disastrous 2nd luteal and was happy to see her there. I had hoped she would call me that day. I remember thinking how much I wanted her to draw my beta blood and I’ve been hoping since Tuesday that she would. Guess what… she did! Amazing!
She is my favorite not because of her skill with the needle. Honestly there are a few girls there that are really great and some others that are not so great. My favorite, let’s call her J, is in the middle. J is my favorite because of her empathy and compassion. She was very kind to me one especially hard day during my chemical pregnancy on the heels of my 20-week loss. I started crying in the waiting room that day and she saw that I was upset and took me to a private room for my blood draw. She offered kind words and consolation at a time when I really need them and for that she will always have a special place in my heart. So when she came out and called my name, I knew everything would be OK. I told her about my positive home test and she held my hand and hugged me. She commented on what a long journey it’s been for me and told me that this was my time. I hope she is right.
That afternoon when my nurse called she said she was so happy to call with good news after having to give me so much bad news. My official Beta number as of Thursday 9-5-13 at 11 days past a 3-day transfer was 221. With my twins in Sept. 2011 it was 264 and with my chemical in May 2012 it was 240. I was very happy to get the good news. My nurse said my progesterone levels were good and to keep doing the PIO shots and to come back Saturday for Beta #2.
The rest of Thursday and Friday are a blur until my commute home Friday when I decided to venture on to Facebook. Of course the very first thing I saw was somebody’s positive pregnancy test. When I realized what the post said and who it was from I immediately called my friend. First before I even said congratulations, I needed to make sure that she knew that HER MOTHER posted a picture of her positive pregnancy test on Facebook. Apparently my friend told her mother she could tell her friends not realizing her mother intended to tell the world, especially since she thinks she’s only 3-4 weeks along. But the damage is done, now everyone knows and we all found out from Facebook. The post wasn’t even new but my phone decided that was the first (and only) post I should see. This is a very good friend even though we live thousands of miles apart. This friend, her husband and I went to high school together and were all very close. We were all just friends in high school but I knew they would end up together and in college it happened. We don’t talk too often but I do make it a point to visit them whenever I go home to FL. They’ve been very understanding and supportive over the years during all my fertility ups and downs. I consider them both part of a very small circle of “best” friends.
When I called her Friday, I couldn’t discuss early pregnancy with her and keep my news to myself. So I told them and they are so happy for me and are very relieved. I think they felt bad for me. Not sure if “bad” is the right word here maybe it was more like guilt because they were getting what they know I want so much. Honestly I’m not sure how I would have reacted to this news if I hadn’t had just gotten such good news myself. Of course, I am so happy for them. I know this is something they’ve wanted for a long time and I’m surprised they’ve waited as long as they have. But I happen to know that they only started trying this summer and it would have been hard to be truly happy for them without feeling jealous and sorry for myself if this cycle had gone the other way. The possibility that we could share this experience together is totally amazing. The possibility that something could go wrong for one of us terrifying. I know that is something that can never be fixed and the idea that we would be painful reminders to each other of what might have been is scary. I truly hope that we both get through this pregnancy safely with healthy babies to show each other at the end.
Saturday rolled around and I was still feeling pretty positive about things so I wasn’t too worried. I kept my phone in sight all day waiting for that call but then it got very late and I still hadn’t heard from the clinic so I was starting to worry. Historically in my experience, the earlier in the day the call comes, the better the news is. Apparently my phone must not have been working right because when I checked my phone for the 50th time there was a voice mail from hours earlier that I swear had not been there before. My Beta #2 number is 427. Not a total double but “a good rise” as the message said. Much better than my chemical pregnancy which only went up to 339 before tanking. I made an appointment with my RE for an ultrasound on Friday to make sure everything looks OK. I’m still feeling good about this one you guys. I can’t believe I’m pregnant! I know we’ve miles to go… and we’re not planning on letting most family members know until we at least see a heartbeat. Keep your fingers crossed for me (and my friend – even though she’s a stupid fertile) and thank you all for your support.