Warning – This post mentions throwing up, if you’re sensitive you might want to skip the first 2 paragraphs.
I’m 11 weeks today. I’m happy to report that I think the nausea is subsiding a bit. I’m starting to feel more like a functional human being again. Although yesterday I did throw up again, but this is only the 2nd time that I’ve actually thrown up in this pregnancy so in comparison to the twins when I was throwing up multiple times a day it’s a vast improvement. As much as the act of throwing up sucks, it’s the constant nausea and knowing I need to eat but not really wanting to eat any of the food I have at home and then feeling sick and burping like it’s my job when I do eat that is the worst part. Also I’ve been stuck in my apartment without a car for the past week and going stir crazy. I can’t wait to get our car back so I can go out for some food – Chipotle, I hear you calling my name.
Yesterday’s barfing session capped off my first crazy pregnancy moment for this go round. I’m working from home remember, so when my husband woke up he came to sit by me and say hello, well he was greeting with me making a barf face. I couldn’t help it. Sometimes the nausea comes up quickly and I thought I was going to hurl my breakfast in his lap and it showed on my face. I was able to keep it down but he was horrified and scrambled away from me to safety – away from vomit range. Which of course I found hilarious. He then proceeded to tease me about the previous night, because I had freaked out and woken up from a dream by gasping and sitting straight up in bed around 3 am, and then couldn’t really make sense of what happened and just sat there looking around for a minute. It woke and scared us both but it totally freaked out the cat who sleeps with us most of the night. So he was teasing me about what happened and making me laugh. He made me laugh so hard that I started crying, it’s a thing I do. Then once I had started crying it was like my body said hey this crying thing feels kind of good let’s do that, and I started really crying, not laughing crying but really crying and couldn’t stop. My husband was like “whoa, what’s wrong, are you OK?” and that made me laugh then I went back to crying. I was trying to stop crying and blowing my nose and all verclempt and that combination of things pushed me over the edge and that’s when I lost my breakfast. Hormones… Fun times…
Yesterday I had an appointment with a genetic counselor and had to take an Uber car into center city. Those appointments are super stressful because they talk about all the things that could possibly be wrong with your baby. Don’t they realize that I’m trying hard NOT to think about those things? A 2-hour appointment discussing all the possible trisomies, micro-deletions and other genetic abnormalities was not fun. Then they took 2 vials of blood for the cell-free DNA test. I’ve never had this test before. I don’t think it was being widely used when I was this far along before. But it’s supposed to have less false positive rates than other screening tests, so it’s a good first step. I’m just hoping this baby is healthy because I really can’t think about the alternatives after all we’ve been through. I am a bit worried too because when I was feeling my worst I was really not great about taking my vitamins and most of the structural stuff happens so early in pregnancy that it could be too late now. I just keep trying to trust that all will be OK.
I have my first OB appt next Friday. It’s funny that I have seen the MFM and genetic councelor before an OB but that’s how this is playing out. I stopped taking my PIO shots over the weekend. My RE released me at 7 weeks once we saw the heartbeat because I live a couple of hours away now and he said to ask the OB when they wanted me to stop the PIO. Well seeing as how I’ll be in my 12th week before I get to see the OB and the MFM was the first appointment I could get, I asked him. He said he didn’t know about that and to ask my RE. He also said they could ask their fertility team if I wanted but I figured it would be better to go back to my clinic since they know my history. So I called my nurse at Cornell and asked her, she said that the MFM should have been able to answer that question and that my Dr. never keeps patients on PIO after 11 weeks. She told me to drop to 1/2 cc and then stop at 11 weeks. So I dropped to 1/2 cc and did the shot for a few more days and then one night I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. The thought of drawing up the shot and then warming it and having my husband do the injection was just so overwhelming that I decided we were done. That’s it, no more. 3 more days of 1/2 cc of PIO is not going to make or break this pregnancy at this point (or at least dear god I hope not) so, yay no more needles in my poor PIO lump filled ass.
In closing today I want to ask anyone reading this to hold positive space and send loving energy to my friend who blogs over at Spirit Baby Come Home. She has been fighting so hard and so long for this baby and they are SO close… she is dealing with a number of very scary actual and potential complications and I just want mother and baby to be together, healthy and safe with her LP and MT very soon. Please join me in sending love and support her way.