Welcome to any new people reading due to ICLW. It’s such a great way to “meet” other bloggers. Thanks for taking the time. I’m feeling a little whiny today so bear with me… if you’re new here check out some previous posts for more positivity.
I’m feeling a little emotional today. The 2nd anniversary of my twins due date was Saturday and I was so concerned with it being the summer solstice that I didn’t even think about it. It’s funny that I missed it last year too. I know it slips by without notice because the 21st was never their day since they came much too early and I mourn them on their actual birthday. But still when the date does come up (even after the fact) I recognize that they are missing from my life. I don’t even remember the due date for either of my other 2 pregnancies since neither one got far enough along for that date to really mean anything. Oh well…
I’ve been having lots of trouble focusing on work lately, hence a blog post in the middle of the day. I’ve been trying to read and comment more (especially now that it’s ICLW), and I’ve been doing pretty well with it. I’m seeing another shift in the people I follow and the people who follow me. It happens every time a wave of girls get pregnant and have their babies. I am honestly happy for them and wish them all well but as they move on to parenting topics I don’t really have much to add to the conversation.
I’m also starting to feel old again… I rationally know that I’m only 37 and that I still “have time”, but that time didn’t help me when I was 32 and starting this whole journey. And now after that PGD consultation I feel like there is even less time since my stats have been shitty so far and they make the picture look so bleak for those of us at “advanced maternal age”. Not to mention that so many of the IF bloggers I come across are young, like 10 years younger than me! It all just makes me feel a little older than I did before.
For those of you keeping score, I’ve stalled a little bit in the getting my shit together process. I’m just so tied and don’t have time to clean out my closet and go through all my stuff like I want to. I need a little mini-vacation to do those things. I have been up to some fun stuff too. For example, I went to a workshop at the yoga studio on Sunday that was called “Chakra Dance”. It’s totally a thing – look it up, I’ll wait… I didn’t really know what to expect but it turned out to be really fun and enjoyable. I’m working on a post that talks about it more… OK, that’s it for now – I have to actually do a little bit of work today.