Earlier this week after a phone call with my husband, he told me that now that I’m pregnant I have to preface any conversations that include bad or stressful news with my status so I don’t cause him moments of panic while he waits for me to tell a story. So let me preface this post by saying that I’m fine and as far as I know everything is fine with the embryo.
The bad news is that I’m in a craptastic mood today and I’m feeling very hostile. I feel sorry for anyone who crosses my path today. I have not been sleeping well the past few days. Last night was a little bit better than the previous two nights but not enough to make a difference. My PIO shot last night went horribly wrong and cause some intense nerve pain. It lasted for hours and I couldn’t lay on that side in bed without causing a lot of pain. My left hip/backside area is very sore from the shot today. I’m feeling super tired and did NOT want to get out of bed this morning. I waited way too long to eat this morning due to my commute and I totally had to pee for an hour. On the bright side, aside from me being a tired, hungry, cranky bitch today everything else is fine.
I don’t have any documentation of early pregnancy signs and symptoms from the first time around and apparently my memory is shit. So even though I know it’s totally too early to do this. I’m going to start documenting this stuff. Feel free to stop reading now!
My goal will be to do it each week on Thursdays since that is the day my weeks change. I stole this list from my bloggy friend redbluebird at http://rainbeforerainbow.wordpress.com/
How far along: 6 weeks, 0 days today
Total weight gain/loss: No idea… I’ve probably gained a few pounds since almost all of my pants are uncomfortably tight. But let’s face it, those pants were already tight when I started this cycle. I am less bloated this week than I was the past 2 weeks so that helps a bit. Thank goodness for the stretchy jeans trend and spanx.
Maternity clothes: Well since even my “fat” pants are tight and I have a plastic bin full of maternity clothes from when I was pregnant with the twins just sitting around, I’ve already busted out some maternity wear. What I’ve discovered is that I’ve definitely gained weight since I got pregnant in 2011 because some of the 1st maternity pants I bought last time are a little on the small side now. There is obviously plenty of room in the belly, but the hip and crotch area is tighter than I remember. My belly is just fat not really pregnant looking, it’s too early for that. So I can’t really hold the maternity pants up well. The ones I have, have that big stretchy belly panel and I’ve been folding the panel over itself to help keep the pants on better. I’ve been trying to wear long loose tops as much as possible to that people don’t notice.
Stretch marks: I already have stretch marks, mostly on my boobs and butt not on my belly but if we make it far enough I’m sure those will show up too.
Sleep: Like I mentioned, sleep has been crappy this week. But I am feeling tired and going to bed much earlier than I used to most days. I used to try to get to bed by 11:30 but these days I’m usually in bed by 10-ish.
Best moment this week: Since I’m considering my ultrasound last week, I guess this is the best moment this week: After losing the twins, I withdrew from most social engagements. My husband and I used to go see lots of performances but I stopped going most of the time he goes without me these days. Recently I’ve been going out a bit more and Monday evening I went to see a friend in a showcase. It was nice. Also I found a pregnancy podcast that I’ve started listening to. It’s not produced anymore the episodes are old but there’s a bunch of them and it’s helping me think positively about the future and not obsess about right now.
Worst moment this week: After that showcase Monday night as I was walking to the subway there was an accident where a person was hit by a car. Luckily I didn’t actually see it happen but I heard it as I was very close to the intersection. It was very intense and it shook me up a little bit. I knew that that was too much stress to encounter so I circumvented the crowd that was gathering and just sent thoughts of healing and wellness to the persons involved. I hope they are all OK.
Miss anything: I must admit that I would really like a cup of coffee. I really want to take a nice hot bath but am afraid to overheat the embryo. Oh and this is totally TMI but I miss orgasms too. DH and I are afraid to do the deed. I know the doctor said it was OK but not sure I believe him. Back before I lost the twins, I had an orgasm in which I felt a really strong uterine wave. Honestly I’m not sure how long before the loss this was but I know it wasn’t much because I’ve always been afraid that I somehow caused the pre-term labor with that orgasm. This is probably crazy but I’m afraid to do anything that might hurt this little embryo.
Movement: Ummm, no. It’s WAY too early to feel movement. But I do feel twinges or a pulling sensation occasionally. It’s been less noticeable lately, I was feeling it much more in the past couple of weeks. I hope that just means it’s settling in and not that anything bad is happening.
Food cravings: No real cravings yet. At least none that I’ve noticed. I remember last time I really wanted to eat grapefruit. Which is not something I normally eat so that was pretty obvious. But nothing so far this time. I have been allowing myself more wheat based carbs than I usually eat. In the past few weeks, I’ve been eating bagels, croissants, and even pasta. All of which I usually avoid. I feel like my blood sugar is going a bit crazy and I need to get a better handle on this so I don’t feel shaky and ravenous.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Last time I remember that at 6 weeks it was like someone flipped a switch and I went from feeling good to being constantly nauseous. I’m hoping this time around since there should be less hormones since there is only one baby, that I have an easier time with the “morning” sickness. I felt one quick wave of nausea this morning during my commute, but I distracted myself and it went away. I hadn’t eaten anything and had been up for over 2 hours so hopefully that was just a fluke and if I manage my eating better I won’t have that problem. Last time I ended up on Zofran to be able to function on a daily basis. I only took 1/2 the prescribed dosage and that stuff caused MAJOR constipation. This time I am determined not to take medicine since they “think” it’s safe, but really they don’t know.
Gender: Before the twins I really wanted a girl – well I’ve always wanted at least one of each (3 in total) – but I really getting used to the idea of boys with the twins. At this point I will be happy either way. I just want my baby to be healthy and I want that bun to stay in the oven until it’s done cooking this time.
Labor signs: Let’s hope not… although this time around I’m prepared to go to the emergency room for every little thing. Last time I didn’t want to be a baby about things so I toughed it out and we all know how that worked out. This time around I’d rather have them call me crazy and send me home than not go in when it might help.
Symptoms: My boobs are bigger and sore/ more sentsitive. They feel very heavy and kind of puffy, less solid. I have had a few headaches, mostly last week. And that twingy-pulling sensation I mentioned before comes and goes.
Belly button in or out: Ummm, in. For a long while still I think.
Wedding rings on or off: I wear my wedding ring to work and if going out but I take off all my jewelry when I get home and I don’t sleep in it.
Happy or moody most of the time: Happy most of the time with an undercurrent of terror of something going wrong. Moody today.
Looking forward to: Next Thursday (which will be 7 weeks) and the ultrasound to check for a heartbeat.