First let me say thank you to everyone who commented on my retrieval post and commiserated with my disappointment and buoyed my spirits with hope and possibility. I really appreciate it. Comments are like hugs and I needed those hugs this weekend.
Today was my transfer day. It went well and I’m officially PUPO. My husband was out of town this weekend and I went to the transfer by myself today. It was a bit strange to be there by myself since my husband has been there for all the other transfers but it was OK. The nurses and staff are all very nice and since I chatted them all up on retrieval day they were chatty with me today. As I was leaving I told them they were lovely people but I didn’t want to see them again for a long time. They wished me luck, it was nice.
I was much more anxious going in today than I have been for any other appointment this whole cycle. I was so worried that they would give me bad news about my embryos and I would have to make a decision about transferring more than one without having my husband there to discuss it with. This research study I’m participating in requires me to fill out a questionnaire each time and today’s answers are very different from the answers I gave on most other days. I hope at some point I will get to see my blood test results from this study. I’d be very interested to know if my cortisol was higher today.
Turns out I didn’t need to be so worried. Of course, right? I guess it’s always easy to look back and think that, once things turn out OK. But today did turn out well… The Dr. reviewed the data on the little picture card of my embryo with me before the actual transfer procedure was done, just reviewing the stats on eggs retrieved, mature, fertilized, and the status of the embryos. (BTW how many of you have to drink a bunch of water and do an ultrasound guided transfer? This is my 5th transfer and I’ve never had to do that…) My little bean was a good looking 8-cell embryo today. The Dr. said it was above average looking and that it’s exactly the kind of embryo that they look for when doing a single embryo transfer. The other 2 embryos were still growing as of today. I didn’t get any detail on them except that they will continue to watch them in the hopes they make it to blasts on day 5 and can be cryopreserved.
After the transfer I lay on the bed and listened to my Circle and Bloom IVF/IUI meditation specifically for the transfer day. It was good to zone out and just focus on relaxing while waiting there without anyone to keep me company. I texted a photo of the embryo picture to my husband since he wasn’t there to see it. Then I got dressed and said my goodbyes. I stood in front of the hospital for a moment and while standing there a stranger came up to me and starting asking me weird questions. He asked if everything was OK, I said yes. He asked is everyone was on the mend, I said, uhmmm, sure. He asked something else I can’t remember and instead of continuing to be a cagey new yorker, I just said that I was the patient and that I was fine; that I had been there for an embryo transfer. He said, what’s an embryo. I said, a baby I hope. Then he kind of said something directed at my belly, wished me luck and went about his business. It was a totally absurd interaction that was incredibly surreal and strangely, a little comforting at the same time. After that little episode I sat on a bench in the sun for a few minutes and then hailed a cab and headed home. I spent the rest of the day lounging in bed or on the couch. I hope this little embryo is continuing to grow and is finding a nice comfy spot to burrow into. Keep your fingers crossed for me.